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My college blog makes me cringe

4:06:00 PM

Since it’s Holy Week and the Philippines is only half-operational, I used part of my free time to re-read my college blog. I first re-read my college blog in 2008, a year after graduation, and although I cringed then, I definitely cringed more with this year’s re-reading. It’s embarrassing to have a first-hand account at how shallow, silly and childish I was back then (or maybe still am). Although I was young at the time, a part of me couldn’t really believe that was me, then.

The cringe-worthy foolishness of my youth
But it was me. And in a way, it still is. After all, what I am now is a result of what I went through and how I handled (or mishandled, for that matter) things then. I know I’ve changed (please refer to my previous post), and I hope I did for the better, but I guess we only become different versions of ourselves as we grow older. We do not completely stray from who we are; we just become more of ourselves as we go along.

I can’t say for the record that I’m older and wiser, but I can say that I’m a different version of myself now than I was in college. I may still be shallow, silly and childish, but I guess it’s safe to say that I can now be deep, serious and mature in certain situations. I guess I’ll never lose the child in me.

The child that gets lost in giggles when someone posts a nice comment on something she wrote. The wide-eyed girl that feels the need to tell the world that this guy she’s had the biggest crush on said hi to her on the library steps. The angsty teenager who hated the world and her pimples. The immature young woman who thought about boys way too much that she got hit by a bicycle. Yep, me.

And I’m lucky enough to have found people who love me to pieces. Friends who accepted me without reservation, who stood by me in spite of all the bad things about me, who believed in me when I refused to believe in myself. And unlike me, these friends won’t cringe at my college blog. They were there for me through every post. They won’t be embarrassed that I’m their friend. They’ll laugh, for sure - but with me, not at me. They are the greatest gifts life could give anyone, and my gratefulness is, really, beyond words.

P.S. I think that this blog will make me cringe when I’m forty.

isawisay

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Hello, reader! Thank you for wasting your time reading my blog. I do hope you enjoyed whatever you stumbled upon. :)