change

Twenty-five and starting over

5:08:00 PM

I’m now 25 years old; I graduated five years and a few days ago. I’m on my sixth job (or my third real one, I like to think). I bought a condo with my former boyfriend, and I was proud of having property, albeit a small one, especially after we lost our house to unpaid mortgage. I ended my college life in a relationship, and now that I’m 25, I’m starting over single.

So I'm told
(photo from the internet)
At first I didn’t want this change to happen. I was so scared at the prospect of being alone. I’m not exactly a pretty girl, I don’t like going out to the point of being a bit antisocial, and I know I can be really testy most of the time. I was afraid that I’ll never find love again. I was scared that I’ll become a spinster. I was afraid that I won’t have a family.

But as the months passed (we broke up last November), I did eventually get the hang of singlehood. I’ve done a number of the post-breakup musts such as cutting my hair, buying a pair of sky-high heels (worn) and a slutty dress (that I probably will never wear), blogging more often, signing up and actually going to a gym, going out (yes, two dates, not exactly with quality men, but dates nonetheless).

This May, I might (operative word) have a gig, and this June, I’m singing at a friend’s wedding - so music is back in my life, too! Plus I have solo travel plans. On Monday, I’m getting my tickets to my first solo destination - Dumaguete. I have friends there that I really want to visit. And I think I could use the time to be with myself, without distractions from real life. I owe myself the quality time.

For the record, I still feel sad sometimes. When I stumble upon our pictures or his love letters, a part of me still wonders what I could have done differently to save the relationship. But unlike before, I don’t want him back. I just miss him. I miss having him around. I miss the false certainty.

But there’s so much ahead of me, and I don’t want to get caught up in misery any longer than I already have. The world is too awesome for me to miss out on. Being single is a gift, and I intend to make the most of it.

I’m 25, and I’m starting over.

isawisay

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Hello, reader! Thank you for wasting your time reading my blog. I do hope you enjoyed whatever you stumbled upon. :)