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Big decision #1247

12:00:00 AM

I'm 26 years old, turning 27 towards the end of this year, and I'm taking one of the biggest risks of my adult life. With hardly any savings (insurance and property investments don't count) and no job waiting for me, I decided to resign from my post in a boutique public relations firm. 

Before my first day, I was incredibly excited about the prospect, and I couldn't wait to get started. It was a whole new adventure for me - a completely different job in a completely different industry - and I wanted to do great. It was an incredible opportunity for me to learn, to make new connections, to make a name for myself.
I'm sorry.
(photo from the internet)
But two months into it, I decided to resign. Last Tuesday, I had mild fever and I was suffering from severe muscle pain, so I couldn't go to work. I didn't have my laptop with me so I plenty of quiet time to reflect. I thought long and hard about how I was doing at work, and I knew that I wasn't doing well as well as I want to, as well as I could.

My boss is a very perceptive and very smart lady (not to mention patient, especially with me), so she knew that I was struggling. I'm sure my decision was not in the least bit a shock to her. She did express disappointment - she told me that she believed I had the potential to be good in PR. 

I can't accurately gauge how well I was doing, but the feedback was generally okay, at least in terms of my output. My being a writer gives me an advantage for the field, because it's not hard for me to churn out press releases and other materials for my clients. I can easily talk to people, so dealing with clients and the media is not difficult for me.
The key ingredient that's missing
(photo from the internet)
But it's one thing to have the skills for something, and a completely different thing to love it, to be happy doing it. And that's the problem - I don't love PR, which is why I'm not happy. I tried to embrace it, but I failed. 

Maybe I didn't give it a big enough chance, and I acknowledge that possibility. Maybe I just didn't like working on the agency side, especially since I grew my career on the client side, taking care of several brands but all under a single umbrella company and therefore a single industry. Maybe I was too distracted by the wealth of opportunities that I didn't have when I first started working so I wasn't focused enough. Or maybe - and this is what I believe - it just isn't for me.

That day I skipped work, I cried again after a long time. I prayed, too, and when I was done, I knew what I had to do. I had to leave, and I had to do it sooner rather than later. I'm trying to not be worried. I'm lining up potential side projects, and some are quite promising. I've also started looking for another job, and I'm happy to note that I do have some prospects. 
Do it!
But I'm a bit scared, because this is the first time since 2007 that I'm leaving one job without a solid backup just yet. My friends told me that they're not worried about me; they're confident I will land on my feet. I'm really comforted by that. And I guess there really are times when you just have to stop thinking and jump. 
For now.
(photo from the internet)
In the mean time, however, while I fix my life, I have to take a break from everything, including this blog. I'm going on an indefinite hiatus, so Starting My Own Think Tank will be on hold until then. Hopefully it won't last long. Bye for now, and wish me luck! :) 

isawisay

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Hello, reader! Thank you for wasting your time reading my blog. I do hope you enjoyed whatever you stumbled upon. :)