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Just because you can, doesn't mean you should

12:00:00 AM

A few months back, I had a one-of-a-kind encounter with a friend that truly tested my capacity for self-restraint. A relatively new friend of mine (I've only known her for a few months at that time) blurted out a comment that was completely foul by my standards: "Your Mom sucks." When I tried to retort, she said it again, and again, to drive a point. I wanted to punch her in the face right then and there, but since we were in a public place, I held back.

I'm holding back.
(photo from the internet)
She also said the same thing about my father before she finally stopped talking. For the record, I understood where she was coming from. She read from my blog that my mother tried to kill herself on my eighth birthday, and that my father didn't do anything to defend me when my stepmother kicked me out of the house in the middle of the night. She felt that I didn't deserve what my parents did, and I agree with her.

No child deserves to go through what I did. But my folks had their reasons for doing what they did, and she has not heard their side of the story. Yes, what my parents did hurt me, but I've long forgiven them for their faults, and in turn, they've forgiven me for mine; that's what families do. My mother and father are not perfect people, so they cannot be faulted for mistakes, no matter how often they made them.
It won't kill you to shut up every now and then.
(image from the internet)
I know that my friend is entitled to her opinion, even if I don't think it's her place to pass judgment on my parents. I can't fault her for having that sentiment; if anything, it shows that she felt for me. But it's one thing to think something, and a completely different thing to say it. I understand that just as she's entitled to her opinion, she's also entitled to say it out loud.

But just because she can, it doesn't mean she should say things. For one thing, there's that unwritten rule that we're not allowed to speak ill of our friends' parents, whether or not what we're thinking is true or fair. Not everything needs to be said, and if it won't kill you to shut up, do so. Spare your friends of your opinion if your opinion would do nothing but hurt them.

P.S. For the record, I buried the hatchet already. I let that comment go, and to this day, I'm friends with the girl I'm talking about in this post. I wrote this not to rub the mistake in her face, but rather to help keep whoever reads this from potentially making the same one against their own friends.

isawisay

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