Let bygones be bygones

12:00:00 AM

So after getting tossed on my rear a little over a year ago by my storybook stepmother, I stopped talking to my father because he didn't stand up for me then. For about a month, I was really mad at him, but after that, my anger just naturally dissipated. But even though I was no longer furious, I didn't want to reach out to him. I needed and wanted an apology because I knew that I deserved one.

Months passed and I didn't hear much from him. He'd occasionally send me a text to check up on me, and I replied to the fourth message to say I was okay. Twice he asked for money, which I had my brother give to him because I didn't want him to think that I was okay with what the woman he cheated on my mother with did to me. I said this before and I'll say it again - I wasn't angry, but I wanted nothing to do with them.
Once upon a time, me and Dad were tight!
(photo from the internet)
But he is my father - the only one I have, at that - so I couldn't just completely pretend that he doesn't exist. I think about him everyday, as I do my mother; they're both very much a part of me, of who I am. So a few days before his birthday last August, I actually took the initiative to contact my brother and plan a small celebration for him.

It was agreed that we would have late lunch at a Filipino family restaurant in the mall across the village where he lived. It was the first time I was going to see him since November last year, and it took all the strength I had to not cry when I saw him. He looked okay - he's in great shape - but I guess I just missed him a lot.

He didn't apologize to me at the family lunch, nor did he have to. With or without it, I was okay. I guess sometimes, you just have to give yourself time to heal. It took nine months for me to get ready to face him again, but I'm glad I took my time because when I did see him, there was no resentment at all.

We talked about what we were up to the whole time we weren't in speaking terms. It's amazing how we just easily picked up right where we left off, without the need to discuss what happened. Some people might argue that it's unhealthy, that we should at least talk about it, but different families have different ways of dealing with things - this is our way, and we're okay.


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