crazy

Resist the urge to Google a date

12:00:00 AM

Although my DEFTAC friends consider me a "female bro," they are still very much aware of the fact that I am actually a girl. For this reason, they're quite protective of me, especially Franco, with whom I share a lot of similar experiences. One time, I told him that I was going to have coffee with a guy I met online. Here's how that conversation went (translated in English):

Him: What's your boy's full name? So we can research about him.
Me: Are you serious? Please tell me you're not serious! Haha!
Him: We might have common friends with him!
Me: What? Why? I never checked up on any of your girls!
Him: He might be a sexual predator!
Me: But you guys taught me well. I can defend myself now.
Him: You should Google him already.
Me: I'm not the cyber-stalking type! Haha!
Him: It's called safety. Where are you guys having coffee?
Me: In a crowded area, like the mall. I'm not going to ask him to pick me up from home.
Him: Let me suggest good places. The Coffee Bean in Greenbelt is good.
Me: Yeah, that should be okay. Table by the door or in the al fresco area.
Him: Yup.
Me: Plus your number on speed dial.
Him: When are you guys having coffee? #stingoperation
Me: Tuesday, maybe.
Him: Tuesday is good. Let's have my brother on standby in Greenbelt.
Me: Whoa! What the?!?!
Him: And you still have not given me his full name.
Me: I'm still deciding whether or not I want to give it to you!
Him: You have no choice. Haha!
Me: I always have a choice! And I'm scared now. You're stricter than my Dad.
Him: I only asked for his full name. It's a harmless question.
Me: Not if you're the one asking. I'm a big girl, I'll be fine.
Him: I know.
Me: Our parents didn't have Google then, but they took a chance.
Him: Date rape wasn't common, then.
Me: Wow, thanks for the scare, Frank!
Don't do it!
(image from the internet)
I appreciate that Franco is looking out for me, I really, really do. I totally understand that the world is more dangerous now than it was before, but does that justify going through measures like Googling a person before a date? If we try to learn about people through sources other than what they have to say about themselves over a cup of joe, won't that cloud our judgment about who they are and who they could be in our lives?

We could get impressed, freaked out, intimated, or delighted with whatever it is that we find out. But won't our reaction, good or bad, be unfair to them (and to ourselves, even) considering that we based our conclusion on limited information? And won't this inaccurate first impression get in the way of actually getting to know people?

I posted about this dilemma on Facebook. Like I said, I understand and I appreciate why Franco worried, but I still don't agree with the idea of Googling a person before a date. My college friend Migo responded: "Your friend may mean well, but you can't research how to swim and learn to do it." I can Google all I want, but nothing could take the place of real, live conversation (especially ones over coffee!).

A brief online profile is not enough for me to make the call as to whether or not I will like a person; it's not giving him a fair shot. I wouldn't want to be judged based solely on my Facebook profile, either - I am more than that and I know it. So I guess what I'm saying is we all need to trust the world a little more.

isawisay

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