The crazy one

12:00:00 AM

Today marks my mother's fourth death anniversary, so I'm skipping Ukay Monday for this week. Lymphoma took her away from us back in 2010 after a short five-month battle.
Even on a hospital bed, in the middle of chemo, she manages to make us laugh. 
Those who knew my Mom would tell you that she's FUNNY! Legitimately funny (unlike me - my sense of humor often throws people off - too bad I inherited my silly Dad's brand of humor made worse by my being a total dork)! She's smart and witty and everything in between, so when I finally grew out of my rebellious stage to become her friend as well as a daughter, I got to enjoy her company more. Her most memorable lines are:

"Anak, di ka maganda kaya magbabasa ka para matalino ka, ha?"
Translation: "Child, you are not pretty so you should read a lot so you'd at least be smart, okay?"

**Okay, so I know of mothers who will cringe at the thought of another mother saying that to her child, but this is actually something that I learned to appreciate in the long run. She taught me to value what's inside my head instead of what's on it, and on the same note, I don't determine who my friends will be on superficial bases. (And oh, even if I'm far from being a genius, I know that I've grown up quite smart, too! So thanks, Mom!)

"E kung hindi Daddy mo ang pinakasalan ko e malamang mas maliit ka pa ngayon."
Translation: "If I didn't marry your father, you'd be shorter than you are."

**I asked her why she chose Dad over her other suitors, and this was her response. By Filipina standards, I can say without ego that I am far from short even if my six-foot-tall father says otherwise. I guess my Mom, who stands an impressive (not) four feet and eleven inches (she insists she's five feet tall, but whatever), has always been insecure about her height so she married a tall man in the hopes of producing taller offspring. At five feet and three inches, I didn't do so bad!

"Maginaw? E di mag-jacket ka."
Translation: "Feeling cold? Wear a jacket."

**It was a particularly rainy day and I was feeling really cold. I didn't have work or anywhere to go, so I wasn't too keen on taking a shower. I wasn't smelly or anything, but she kept insisting that I shower already so she could include the clothes I was wearing in the wash. Crazy woman!

"Mainit? Mag-payong ka!"
Translation: "Feeling hot? Get an umbrella!"

**One summer day at home, I was sitting around the living room, bitching about the heat because our electric fan broke. I guess she couldn't stand my whining so she snapped and told me to get an umbrella. We both stopped for a minute, stared at each other, and then started laughing.

"Wag mo na pakawalan yan, wala nang magkakagusto sayo na ganyan ka-gwapo. Swerte mo dyan."
Translation: "Don't let him go, no one as good-looking will ever like you again. You're lucky with him."

**My ex-boyfriend was quite good-looking, and my Mom being my Mom, she whispered this in my ear when I first introduced him to her. She was joking, of course, but still. Haha! And the funny thing is, when I brought him to a family reunion, my mother's brother, my Uncle Zaldy, also joked that my then-boyfriend was too handsome for me. It runs in the family.

"Bakit ka nakikipagkaibigan sa mga pangit?"
Translation: "Why do you make friends with ugly people?"

**My Mom is an absolutely stunning morena (brown-skinned) woman, but in a society that holds mestizas (fair-skinned) women on a pedestal, she grew up wanting to be fairer even if she's already beautiful. My high school best friend, Jeff, is a really dark guy, and by her typical old school standards, he wasn't exactly good-looking. But again, she was just kidding - Jeff was always welcome in our home.

Too bad I'll never hear another witty retort or comeback from her in this lifetime. But I'm sure I'll see her again when my time on earth is up, so until then, I'll just re-live her funnies. :)


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