advice

Stop waiting

12:00:00 AM

One of my favorite actors of all time, Hugh Laurie, was once quoted saying, "It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any."

Back in June, when I toyed with the idea of joining a jiu-jitsu competition for white belts, I talked to a few friends both in and out of the team to get their opinion on whether or not I should sign up. The consensus was that I should go for it. As it would have been my first competition ever, there was no pressure for me to win a medal - the idea was to get my feet wet, to know what it's like to compete.
There's really no such thing as ready, anyway. Sayang.
I thought about it a lot. Maybe even a little too much. Ultimately, I decided against joining, and a part of me now is wondering what could have been.

Objectively speaking, I really wasn't ready. I've only been training for a few months, and quite inconsistently, at that. I haven't learned enough techniques, nor have I done enough reps to commit the few that I know into muscle memory. I haven't rolled as much as I should or as much as I wanted to, with work keeping me away from the mats a lot.

But I still am wondering what could have been. For all I know, I could be having a good day and my opponent could be having a bad one, and things like that often affect the outcome of a match. I could have lost on my first match, too, but if that's the worst that could happen, I certainly could brush it off easily and just fight again another day, right? I almost always am the "at least I tried" person, and I made a mistake of not letting that version of myself take the lead at the time.

I'm not the type to hold on to regret - I let myself feel it for a while, and then I move forward. There will be other competitions, anyway. I just hope that, next time, I'll muster up the courage to go through with it.

isawisay

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