LT / The Proust Questionnaire #3

12:00:00 AM

Question: What is the trait you most deplore in others?

I'm a hater so it's quite difficult to really name the one trait that I most deplore in other people. HAHA! Given, however, that the question calls for a straight answer, I took the time to think about it. After much thought, I've realized that what I really hate most is defeatism.
I hate this.
(image from the internet)
My brother got admitted to the hospital some time last August for an appendectomy. It's a straightforward procedure but there were some complications in his case, so he had to be confined for over two weeks (he's out now, by the way). On one of the mornings when I was on pseudo-nurse duties, he started getting chills. He shook uncontrollably despite two layers of blankets and no air conditioning.

I felt bad for him, and I wanted to comfort him. But then, he started moaning and wailing, and for a second there, I saw a look on his face that told me he's done. And that was when I stopped wanting to comfort him. Instead, I wanted to slap him in the face and tell him to toughen up.

Okay, that sounds bad. I had no idea what kind of pain he was going through, as I've never gone through that myself. I am family, and I should be more understanding. But the thing is, I can't and don't tolerate people who are ready to throw in the towel even before the fight actually starts. That episode was merely the beginning of a new ordeal for our family, and I was not going to let him give up.

It's not a bad thing to wallow every now and then; we're all human, so of course, we all have a breaking point, a pain threshold. But it's one thing to wallow because we're exhausted from the struggle and another to just accept defeat before the battle begins. The same day of the episode, when he was feeling better, I told him that he has to be stronger than that, and he agreed.

I got this from my mother (my father laughed in agreement when I said this). She knows how to accept defeat, and graciously so. However, her acceptance of defeat comes after the fight, not before it. To be clear, she taught me to choose my battles, because not everything is worth my time and energy anyway.  I should save those, along with my lady balls, fighting for those that matter to me.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?


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