Everything is your choice

12:00:00 AM

Since I laid my mother to rest in 2010, I have not been the same person. Her death has changed me in so many ways, but I'll admit it's only now that I'm really beginning to see just how big its impact is in my life. I could have been defeated by it, yes, but I chose not to be. Nay, I choose not to be defeated - every single day.

I've since embraced happiness - not the mindless, delirious, shallow sort, but rather the kind that is present and conscious - and my life just changed for the better. A present and conscious kind of happiness is not something that falls on your lap. Rather, it is the kind that you decide on every morning, from the moment you open your eyes.

But I'm not going to talk about happiness today. I want to talk about choice.
Wake up
(image from the internet)
I'm not a patient person to begin with, but I snap even faster when someone tells me, "I didn't have a choice." Maybe it's partly true, because we don't really have control over what life throws our way. But what we do have control over - always - is how we respond to situations. That is always our choice to make.

A friend and I had a conversation about our parents. My mother and father wanted me to go to medical school to become a doctor, while his wanted him to become a lawyer. I really didn't want to be a doctor, so I begged and begged and begged my folks to let me take up Communication instead. This friend of mine also didn't want to be a lawyer, but he gave in to his parents' wishes. He's about to become one soon.

I snapped when he dropped the "I didn't have a choice" card on me over coffee. Because in the first place, letting his parents decide his future was his choice. He could have said no, which would possibly have led to his folks disowning him, but instead he chose to do as he's told. And that is a choice!

Regardless of religion, I think we can all agree that man has intellect and free will. I refuse to believe that we are just coursing through life with the ability to think but without the ability to choose. It is the compouding of all our choices that make us who we are.

Maybe the reason why I disagree with "I didn't have a choice" so much is because it's a refusal to take accountability for one's actions. It is, after all, easier to just blame someone else instead of admitting one's fault. Some classic examples I heard throughout my lifetime are:

"I got into drugs because of my friends." Unless your friend spiked your drink without you knowing it, you can't blame him or her for whatever substances you take in. I'm not judging anyone for taking drugs, but I am judging those who blame other people (or even the drugs) when they do so. You can't enjoy the effects and then blame someone else for your crash.

"If someone has a gun to your head, your only choice is to die." Be that as it may, you still have a choice to die quietly or to die fighting, in which case you actually may have a shot at survival. And oh, what got you in that situation in the first place is a series of decisions that you made.

No matter how hard life twists your arm into doing something against what you stand for, the decision will always be yours to make.


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Hello, reader! Thank you for wasting your time reading my blog. I do hope you enjoyed whatever you stumbled upon. :)