Silver lining

12:00:00 AM

A very dear friend of mine recently lost his mother to cancer, putting him in the same slump I went through almost seven years ago. He’s dealing with it almost the same way I did before — just going through the motions of daily life, quietly grieving and at the same time trying to get used to the idea that my mother was no longer around. It was a struggle then, but it got easier as time wore on. 

Easier, because the mundane distractions of daily life kept me from thinking about her all the time. Because not having a choice but to be strong actually made me stronger. Because the love she raised me with, the same love I may have failed to reciprocate a lot of times while growing up, stayed with me even though she was no longer around. To this day, I cling to that same love. 
The sun always rises
Love comes with responsibility, which we bear willingly because we understand the choice we made. There are many ways for children to love their parents: to be a good child, to take care of them when they’re no longer able to take care of themselves, to give them a good life when they’re older, and so on. The love between parent and child remains even when the former passes away, but it changes as it is relieved from responsibility. It’s a love that’s more free — one that no longer needs constant effort. 

So I guess that’s the silver lining, and perhaps one of the mercies hidden underneath an apparent cruelty in the law of nature: that when a parent dies before the child, the latter is allowed to keep carrying the same love but without the necessity to be expressed or acted upon. As such, it can be felt with a new sense of freedom. The same love can also become even stronger and deeper, for the other has ceased to exist and may thus no longer be possessed, depended upon, or reduced to a thing. 


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